I'm desperate for pity. Can I have some?
Hey! Today was my birthday! Money is still tight, but Mom still managed to come through. She got me The Rosetta Stone Japanese Explorer, which is a language tutor, supposedly the best computer one in the world, we ordered good hand -tossed pizza, and she's going to get me new speakers and a track ball mouse from Phil. I wish she didn't think she had to do mulitply things and take the expensive route. I keep telling her not to always splurge, to save a bit, cause then I wouldn't have to loan her money, and I could be a kid and not have to worry about it. But back to life. I wore a black cape to school today. It wasn't because of Halloween, or my birthday, but because I wanted to. Call it a whim. I think everyone was secretly jealous, even though deep down everyone just pities me. Which is all I ask for. I need love, attention, and input. So at school, I told people it was my birthday, got choirs of "Happy Birthday!"and one card. Amanda got me a card that says "On your birthday, See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil....but that leaves Do no evil wide open." and a gift card for a local theater. It was a great thing for her to do, and made me think my life was a bit better than previously thought. Why did I think that? Because the period before that, I saw Mitch and Katie (who I keep accidentally calling Felisha on accident) talking. I knew they were talking about sex (Mitch is like the shortest kid in class, so Katie thinks that's cool), and Katie said "You know i'll tie you to a chair and rape you." and they went on talking, and at two times Greg got into the conversation, the first time saying "Katie, do your boobs make up 14% of your body weight?" and then "I made cream cheese listening to you." which I find kinda disturbing, but even so I felt left out. It was one of the times I realize I have no friends. It's not that I'm unsocialable, it's just that I am cynical, I have a habit of over-analyzing things, and I have seen so much I can understand the real world (kinda falls under cynicism, but I feel they're different in some ways too.). When this combines with my unique and creative personality, I understand it can be hard to approach me. But I desperatly need someone to talk to. I am at a point in puberty where I need someone I can trust and one who can understand me. Like in science today we were discussin g life on other planets, and I said they would be Marskimos, eskimos on Mars, because it's so cold, and everyone was like "Your an idiot, MJ."But when you think about it, if humans lived on Mars, we'd be like eskimos in Margloos. Eat a Marlar Bear and go Marice fishing. But no one understud the concept. And I got so much homework piling up, I wanna start writing now that I have a plot and a character and some details, but I procrastinate, and it's gonna cost me. I'm done babbling and rambling for now. Say something if you pretend to want to care.
-MJ
Posted at 02:09 am by Akumeon
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D'art
November 20, 2003 09:17 AM PST
...You really want pity THIS much? Well, I'm sorry, but I have no pity except for sick animals.
However, I WILL give you all of the love, attention and caring I have in my body, and then, when it replenishes, I give you some more. This isn't sarcasm I'm offering you, by the way.
Look, I really want to keep in touch with you, and even though I don't use it all that often, would you mind adding me to your MSN list? Here:
mihoshi_17@hotmail.com
Oh, my name's Daniela, by the way. (I don't like using fake names with friends on the web.)
Ciao! And lots of love,
~~Daniela ^_^ |
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