http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/ Creativity is Lacking... Mon, 05 Sep 2005 13:25:00 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2005. Reading Humor Internet http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/97.html Mon, 05 Sep 2005 21:24:57 GMT kathleen has broken up with me. the full impact of this has not yet crushed me, i think i'm still in shock. i'm not depressed or suicidal so i think i'm still just really confused and numb right now. i'm afraid. this is so sudden. what was this summer? i was happier than i had ever been in my life. i felt good about myself. and it's all been shattered. does kathleen still love me? i think a more important question was if she ever did. i am seriously afraid. kathleen has become synonymous for 'life'. i have no idea. about anything. i am so dependant. why did i become so attached if... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=97 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/96.html Thu, 18 Aug 2005 20:03:53 GMT Fuck. I don't know why that bothers me so much. I mean, I know why it would at first, but I realize she wasn't serious and....argh. Okay. Kathleen pretended she was breaking up with me. "MJ, it's not you, it's me. I don't think we should see each other anymore. So don't call me anymore or anything." That really hurt. And I know she was joking but it really stings that she would joke about that. Am I a joke? I really hope she doesn't leave me, and I really hope that something like 'the shirt I'm wearing' isn't the reason for something like that. I know I'm jealous, passive,... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=96 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/95.html Thu, 11 Aug 2005 04:16:03 GMT Right. So I'm 'home'. Why do I live here? Seriously. The only thing that I missed was the water, which is infinitely fresh and satisfying. I didn't miss dismay bathroom. My bedroom depresses me. Driving through town from the airport brought back a multitude of memories I wish would just fucking die. And these people....Hey, if anyone knows of an effective untraceable poison, please let me know. They've become worse while I was gone. More 'Christian'. The parental units eat at the dinner table now and they say grace. I'm going to enquire to that as of now. Okay. I don't have to say... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=95 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/94.html Sun, 31 Jul 2005 08:02:52 GMT Am I alright? I'm alright. I'm dull, I'm a prick, but I'm fine. I need to just fucking die. Why am I still here? I understand I'm not completely unwanted, but I'm definitely not useful, or interesting, or important. I'm nothing I want to be. I want to be loved. Am I? Why can a single phrase erase an entire series of phrases? Why am I letting this control me? There's nothing inside me worth saving. These words shouldn't even be on this screen. Things would be simpler for almost everyone if I just internalized everything. Or if I died. I just need to be reminded things. Or... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=94 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/93.html Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:20:48 GMT Okay, so I woke up this morning after only 5.5 hours of sleep. But I couldn't get back to bed. I stayed up until about noon, and then managed to sleep another 4 hours. and this is what I dreamt: It's like I'm spending the night at someone's house, but it's my family. We're in a dark livingroom, on a couch facing a TV. Behind the couch is a door. I'm a girl, and 'Dad' rigs me and my little 'brother' to a couch with a bunch of extension cords. He says that if we break contact between any of them, he'll know, and that if they leave the couch, he'll also know. He demonstrates by lifting a... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=93 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/92.html Mon, 25 Jul 2005 08:38:46 GMT Why? I'm always and again and still asking these what, why, and how questions. Do you tire of them? Frankly, I do. I get very tired of myself, more often lately. And that leads me to thinking that other people are tired of me too. I'm not sure something is wrong with me. Perhaps this is how people were designed to feel. Is this what evolution intended? Everyone has flaws. Why do some people point out others'? I'm usually okay with my lackings. But lately, my short-comings make me feel really badly. Like they're personally my fault, something I chose. I come across the desire... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=92 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/91.html Fri, 15 Jul 2005 10:06:35 GMT What the Hell? Alright, so Franklin Reed was just sitting there sipping his tea (no teonanctyl. Just Earl Grey tea, alright?) and there's a knock at the door. What the Hell? It's 3:45 in the morning. So Reed puts down his cup of tea, and it sort of morphs into a buscuit. What the Hell? The lights flicker and he goes to the door. Looking through the peephole, he sees fucking Ted Nealson. He's even wearing that stupid hat of his, the one with the blue logo all over it. So Reed unlocks the bolt and the door lock and opens the door. And there's a goddamned rabbit on his porch instead. Listen to... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=91 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/90.html Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:54:18 GMT Oh, Corey.... Whenever I read your blog I'm filled with very strong emotions that I can't explain. It's not common for me to feel this strongly about anything. There's just something about your situation, about who you are. I want to help, but I'm afraid. Your youthful innocence is completely pure, it's making me cry (it's these hormones), but I know if I get too close I'll taint you. My malice, my sarcasm, my narcissistic cynicism. Corey, you are a good person. You are a great person. But you are so good that you make me feel bad about who I am. I read how lonely you are and I want to... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=90 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/89.html Thu, 02 Jun 2005 04:31:35 GMT Today was entirely over-taxing. Awake by 4:30, on the plane by 6:30. I arrived in Charlotte 15 minutes before my connecting flight left. I had to cross the entire Charlotte Douglas International Airport in 15 minutes. I ran. Ow. I just barely made it. The woman at the counter saw me coming and yelled (from half-way across the terminal) if I was on the Seattle flight and what my last name was. But the people I sat next to were pleasant. My heart rate was 120 bpm from 8 am (when I got on the plane) to noon. I checked it 7 times, it never went down. I really need to see a... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=89 http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/archive/88.html Sat, 28 May 2005 08:47:12 GMT I got home around 1:30 last night. Slept until 2:30 pm. Went back to bed at 4, got up at 6, went back to bet at 7:30 and got up at 1:30. 20 hours of sleep. That's the most I've ever slept within a single day since I was like 3. And I'm going back to bed in a while. But for now I am here. Why can't people talk in emotions? Rules: 1. Copy and post in your Blog. 2. Bold anything that is true. 3. Leave plain anything that is untrue. 4. Add something. 01. I miss somebody right now. 02. I watch more tv than I used to. 03. I love olives. 04. I love sleeping. 05. I own lots of... (more) http://akumeon.blogdrive.com/comments?id=88